The Difference A Day Makes.

Yesterday, I thought, "My life is falling to pieces". I thought this because I was going through a break-up and although I was the heart-breaker, it hurts just as much for me as it does the heartbroken. A break-up is a bit like a death, although it does not compare quite as much, it is still a loss and it still hurts, for all involved. But that is besides the point. I also thought "My life is falling to pieces" because I overheard some friends having a talk about me which they were not aware of. They said some hurtful things though they are unaware that I know and they won't ever know unless I really lose the rag and start yelling left right and center, which is unlikely. I also felt like this because of many other aspects of my life, things that have yet to come, things that I have done that I have to live with. But you know what?

Today, I thought, "What's the point?" what is the point in feeling crap about myself. It's just a waste of time and energy that could be better used elsewhere, being more productive and taking control of my life so I don't have to ever think "My life is falling to pieces" ever again. And although it will be difficult and it will take time to regain control, in the end, it will all be worth it. Life is all about self-discovery, about development and discovering new things about yourself, the people around you and the world in which we live. Why are we wasting our time being sad, when we could be happy? Why do we like sadness so much more? I know that happyness is a hard thing to gain, but if we aren't up for trying, then what's the point in life? There has to come a point when you just say "Fuck this, I'm going to happy, regardless of whatever crap Im going through right now."

Truth is, there will always be crap for you to go through. There will always be someone out their who is trying to take you down with them, but you have to be the better, bigger person and know not to go down, not go back to the miserable you. To stay above and beyond and be happy. And I know you've heard it a billion times before, but let's face it, your life could probably be a hell of a lot worse. So isn't it time, you took a little step backwards, had a look at your life from the outside, took an analysis and start making changes in order to improve the areas that you feel aren't up to your standard of happy? Yes, it is. It's time. So go do it, right now.

I know life is difficult and it seems that it's always "out to get you" but if you don't let it get to you as much then you will finally learn what it's all about. It's time to start living, regardless of the fact that I have just broken-up a relationship, despite the fact that my friends aren't as trustworthy as they seem. We all know really, the only person you can truly trust is yourself, and if you can't make you happy, then who can?

You are probably all wondering what's got into me, that Sami is actually posting a positive blog entry. And yes, I have to thank this blog entitled Think Simple Now because it points out the fact, that yes, it really is that simple, to be happy, to live your life, to gain control. And if that isn't enough for you, then check out Empowered Quotes, some quotes from people who may inspire you to have a good old think about your life. And so, it is with this quote, I leave you, in all my happy-glowy state of mind in hope that you too, will find a happy-glowy state of mind:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

- Mark Twain

People Are Surprising!

I know I did it again, say Im back and disappear, but really, I'm spending my time at the minute volunteering for my local summer scheme and therefore a lot of my time is taken up doing that. Anyway, I'm here, really (haha!) :P.

So the other day, I was having a chat with my friend and she told me she liked to write poetry and stories and things like I do. This surprised me because I never thought she would, I don't know why. Usually you get a sense when someones a writer, you just know, it's like a writer-detector in your brain, you can just tell when another writer has entered the room. But then we had a nice little discussion about writing and all this things (no doubt shes reading this and going, That was me!!) haha.

It got me thinking a lot about people. How people surprise you a lot, sometimes you have too low or too high expectations of people and then they surprise you by doing something better than you expected them to do and then it gets you wondering why you had such a high/low opinion of them in the first place. I guess we're all a little judgemental without meaning to be, when we first meet people, we develop a first impression and then we continue to think about their personality based on that first given impression and so when they do something unexpected, you are quite surprised.

My other friend and I had a discussion about writing, about how quite a lot of people, although mostly female, are writers. Or well, they enjoy writing poetry, stories or other such things and yet you wouldn't think it. We then went on to discuss the reasons why we write, for the most part, it's an emotional release. Everybody needs an emotional release somehow, someway and therefore writing becomes one of the main options for people to do that. Words are used in many and various ways everyday and so it shouldn't actually be that surprising when you hear that someone is a writer, or enjoys writing because it's just another way for them to release their emotions.

So yeah, maybe next time someone has got a pen and paper in hand, you should talk to them and ask how they are. Although disturbing them mid-flow isn't actually a good idea, cause like then they loose their train of thought and some piece of writing could be stopped from coming out and being a real good poem/story etc! Anyway, if you too enjoy writing and would like to share some stories or poems, I'm up for listening, just let me know. My email address is at the side if you want to do it privately!

For the meantime, take care of yourselves and I'll be back soon with more outlooks on life and everything in between! :)

The Bigger Picture

I know I was all "I'm Back, Yay!" and then I went awol for a week, but really, I am back. You see, some crap went down a week or so ago and it made me take some time out, take a step back from life and have a good old think about what was going on in my life.

You see sometimes, you get so bogged down with all the drama and madness of life at the present moment that you forget the bigger picture. The places you want to go, things you want to do, people you want to meet. All of it is just forgotten because the drama of present-life overtakes it all.

That's what happened to me, I got so caught up in the current drama I actually forgot how much of other things in life I wanted to do, see and achieve. I want to pass my A levels and go to Uni, I want to get a degree in English, I want to meet some of my online friends, I want to live in New York. I want to do all of that and more. And yet here I am thinking "What am I going to do tonight, oh my oh my!". When really, it doesn't matter, I should be working toward achieving one of my other main goals. And that's my bigger picture, I see myself, working as a journalist of some sort in New York, happy and all that. And I completely forgot about all of that because of the crap that happened a week ago.

In saying that, if the crap hadn't of happened, I wouldn't have learnt this lesson that I'm talking about now. So, next time you get bogged down in crap, just remember that there is a brighter, bigger, better picture out there, waiting for you to paint it into a masterpiece!

Blogging All Over The World

With my new blog layout, you will have noticed that I added more links to my blogroll. These are the blogs I read Daily. Some are written by good friends of mine, such as Neill at Bloggy Blog or Sarah at Soul Drift. The others I have just discovered while searching through the interweb.

You will notice that three of the new links involve New York, the place where I long to live. They are daily photo blogs, as in each day they will post a photo from New York. I think it's a nice way for me to learn about NYC and keep in touch with the city even though I'm several thousand miles away.

As well as there being Photo blogs from NYC, there are photo blogs from all over the world that are just waiting to be discovered. Such as this one from Paris, this one from Australia, this one from Las Vegas and this one from Berlin. This website contains a full list of all the daily photo blogs around the world.

I have been inspired by the many photo blogs and went searching to see if there is a Belfast one, I discovered a few but they have become inactive and I've decided to pick up where they left off and start my own Belfast Photo Blog. It's currently under construction but it can be found here. Expect updates at the end of the week, I'm still configuring the layout a bit.

I think it's such an amazing thing that we can see what's going on in places all over the world just by clicking a few buttons. It means we can watch the seasons go by in other countries as well as our own, see the similarities and differences and other such things. So, for now, I'm going to enjoy watching summer all over the world and I hope you will too.

Is chocolate better than sex?

Although I don't think this "fact" is scientifically proven, I do believe that chocolate is better than sex. For me anyway.

Sex can happen in a mountain of ways. It can be romantic, it can be cold, it can be for work, it can be wham bam thank you ma'am, it can be a lie and it can be just for fun. Having sex one night can easily turn into "Why are you calling me?" the next night and you are given the cold shoulder for the rest of your life. As far as I'm concerned, sex should mean something in order for it to be enjoyable. And if you are to have sex, just for the sake of it, then what's the point?

A wham, bam, thank you ma'am followed by absolutely zilch. What kind of life is that? The cold shoulder is not a fun thing to be on the recieving end of and this is why Chocolate is better. In the cold harsh reality of life, eating chocolate will release endorphins that make you feel better. And chocolate is a lot more accessible than men, all you have to do is go to the shop. Chocolate won't ask you dumb questions, it won't make you pregnant and it certainly doesn't make a mess all over your bed (unless you fall asleep and it melts in your hands).

After doing some research into what other people thought about Chocolate being better than sex, many of my female friends agreed with me (unlucky men eh?!), I found the following list here, which is the Top 20 reasons why Chocolate is better than sex and I wholeheartedly agree with them. So here they are, enjoy!

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn't matter.

A New Understanding

Many of you who know me, will know that my ex-boyfriend/first love ran off with my now ex-best friend. This was several years ago now, but the reason I'm bringing it up is because I think I am close to understanding how it must have felt. At the time, I was upset and hurt and in a lot of pain. Loosing two of the most significant people in your life at the same time as well as several others, well it's not a very nice thing to feel.

But recently it dawned on me, that I had feelings for a friend of a friend and how difficult it was for me to keep my feelings under control (most especially since I have a boyfriend). It's been said over time that you can never help how you feel and I suppose I can't help it, but I can keep myself at bay, so as not to hurt anyone (inevitable as it is).

For my ex, he must have felt guilty for having these feelings and at the same time, not regretting having them because it's how he felt, and she was something he wanted. I know you can't always have what you want, but you can try. And if you are in a dead-end relationship and you are after someone else, then it's unfair to lead the other person on, no matter how afraid you are of loosing that person, or hurting them.

As people, it is up to us to do the right thing. To be honest and be the best person we can be, although this proves difficult. As well as dealing with our own feelings, we have to consider other people's feelings and take them into account when making decisions that involve such persons. And we also must consider the consequences of our actions, if we are to see them through.

So although I had my heart broken, my friendships lost and my life torn to shreds in a simple matter of seconds, there were reasons behind the decisions made that I have only come to realise now. In a way, I should be thankful that the relationship ended when it did, it would have been unfair on me if I was lead on by my ex and if he was to continue to lie to himself about the feelings he had for my friend.

I know some of you are probably a bit confused about my thought process right now, but when you are put at the other end of the spectrum, when history repeats itself and you are put in a different position, you begin to see and learn things in a different light. You are aware of all the dangers, of all the risks, the hurt and the pain that can be caused, and you begin to understand reasons why it had to happen.

Although I will never fully comprehend the thought process of my ex and my friend at the time, this new understanding that has come to light has made some things make a little more sense. I guess what I'm really trying to say is be honest with yourself and then be honest with those around you. Lies only create more problematic situations when the truth is finally told and you wouldn't want that now would you?

Back With A Vengeance!

Well, I don't know about the vengeance, but nonetheless, I am back! It's been a good while and I haven't been posting due to exams and other life stuff, the fun of it all, you know? Haha.

Anyway, you'll be glad to know, I'm here and I've got plenty of entries lined up to keep you guys reading for the entire summer (hopefully!) and hopefully if I advertise enough, I'll get some good responses going and all that jazz.

For now, I am going to go make the final edits to the few entries I've written already and for the meantime, you can enjoy my lovely new layout.

Before I go, I must mention about the Warchild book. You'll remember the entry I wrote entitled 'Giving Something Back', where I mentioned a book being made by Sarah J Peach called 'You're not the only one'. The story goes, a bunch of bloggers got together, sent in some stories, and they were made into a book. The idea being, that each blogger will have hopefully had an experience that someone else could relate to and that we're not the only one! Haha. So yes, the book is finally finished and so far, £1k has been made from purchases. So if you're interested, click on the link over there > somewhere and purchase your own special copy!

Anyway! I hope you guys are making the most of what little sunshine there is at the moment and come back tomorrow for the first of my new entries :)

Sami
xoxo