What Not To Say.

So, the other night I was out at a party for Halloween and it was great fun. The house was big, the alcohol was flowing and the people were partying. I was having a great time just mingling with all my friends and the new people I had never met before.

I went upstairs to use the bathroom when one of the bedroom doors opened and a guy was sitting on the floor. He startled me, but he said Hello and introduced himself. Let's call him C shall we? So C had been put into this bedroom, which had no working lights by A1 (not using names to protect identity). A1 had told C to calm down and stay in that room until he felt better, but C was bored and needed water which is why he opened the door when he heard me wandering around. So I went and got some water for C and sat down and started chatting to him.

We were chatting about Anime and if I, being a girl, had seen any. I told him that I had as my new housemate had introduced me to a few and my exes has shown me some as well. Then he started hugging me cause he was cold. I know that sounds like a ploy, but you have no idea how cold that house was. It was a big old victorian-style house with single glazing and heating that takes 400 hours to start working. So it was cold.

So there we were, C and I, in a room with no working lights, hugging and chatting. C was quite intoxicated (alcohol, you know?) and he was talking in a half-Irish, half-Scottish accent. He was telling me I was a "Beautiful Lass" with "Really smooth skin and smooth hair". I started laughing at him in his silly little accent and then he said "Oh no! I think me penis jumped up". This made me laugh even more, which made his 'penis jump' more. In all my life, a laugh turning someone on is the last thing I expected. Though, I've been told before that I had a dirty/evil laugh. I don't know how that works.

So C's penis jumped up and he was quite handsome. He was training to be a fitness instructor so had some nice pecs and well, I wasn't going to refuse. Blame the alcohol if you want. So there we were, C and me kissing and hugging and letting hands flail around. Then he asked 'Do you like kisses in the ear?' I'm sorry, IN THE EAR? I mean, I can deal with ear nibbling and stuff but why on earth do you want to shove your tongue IN my ear? Needless to say, it didn't do anything for me, except make me think he was a weirdo.

If that wasn't bad enough, we were going at it (again, hands only) and he stopped again and said "Do you like anal?" I was like "No thank you, it's an exit only". To this, he replied "It's just me ex lass, she shoved her ass in me face one day and said go on and I was like what do you mean go on? And then I realised and I was like oh, really? It wasn't really something I enjoyed." What, a man who doesn't like anal, are you sure? I was but then we stopped for a while because well, I wasn't exactly excited after that. When we got going again, he was all "I want to bend you over". Clearly, he did enjoy anal. Shame, really.

So next time, my friends, you meet a beautiful lassie and you get the chance to give her some action, I suggest you don't ask about ear kissing, or anal, or even talk about your ex-girlfriend. Reason being, it's a total turn-off. As for C and me, we have spoken since, he said he didn't remember much. Maybe I'll forgive him, for his pecs and the eventualality, made up for it ;)

Cheating.

Did you know that 60% of men and 40% of women are likely to cheat on their partners? No, neither did I. I do believe that sometime in our lives, we are likely to cheat, or be cheated on by our partners, whomever they happen to be.

I believe this because I have once been a cheater myself. It is not a fun activity and living with the guilt afterwards just isn't any fun. There are those of us, who will never know about our partner's affair for the truth only hurts. Yet, there are those of us who choose to be honest, to confess our guilt and try and forgive ourselves for the pain that we have caused. It's not easy, but we can and we do try.

My confession comes many many months after my infidelity when the topic resurfaced. Except this time, I was the other woman. The story goes as follows. I was out celebrating a friend's birthday with many people in a quiet and cosy bar. I was having a good night being a social butterfly and being friendly from person to person. A young guy caught my eye, he was cute, beautiful eyes (I'm such an eye person!), same height as me, dark skin and fairly built. All in all, he was a potential candidate, until he had a girlfriend. But we agreed to be friends nonetheless as we live in similar areas and have similar interests.

So as the night progresses, we continue to drink and celebrate until it's chucking out time and we walk back to a house party that never happens. Meanwhile, his friends are getting on with my friends, and then suddenly we're hugging to keep each other warm. It was genuinely freezing at 2am in Northern Ireland, as it is at basically any time in this country. Eventually, we're all piling into taxis and heading to a different house for a quieter party, but a party nonetheless.

So we arrive, cuddle up on the sofa to have a chat and stay warm. God, I make it sound so romantic, it totally wasn't. He brings my arm across his chest for a hug and moves it down slowly but surely until yes, it lands on his penis. Now I know you might be going "Yeah right, that so didn't happen" and instead have pictures of me jumping him instead. But really, I was so shocked because he had a girlfriend and I wasn't intending on doing anything apart from hug. But you get the picture, my hand, his penis, hand job, done. Not so romantic now, eh?

What confused me most was, he wouldn't even kiss me. His reason? Because he had a girlfriend. I think touching your penis is a bit more intimate that kissing your lips, is it not? I suppose kissing is quite a passionate act, but isn't sharing your anatomy and doing a dirtier deed than kissing more unfaithful? Isn't it more hurtful to hear the words "I had sex with another woman" than to hear "I kissed another woman". A kiss can be forgiven somewhat easily, but sex and a fuller intimate act takes a lot of courage to forgive. No act though can relieve anyone of guilt, or hurt, or pain.

I don't know why, it just confused me and when he wouldn't kiss me, I felt sad and regretful for I knew that if his girlfriend were to find out the pain that she would feel, having been there myself. He also kept muttering how bad he felt and I told him I would stop but he didn't want to. So I made him cum right there in my hand (eww cum!). He enjoyed it but now he will feel guilt for the rest of his life, like I do.

I really need to stop getting myself into messes like this. Or maybe we need to learn to keep our anatomy in our pants and our hands to ourselves, either way, it would save a hell of a lot of hassle, don't you think?