Complexities Of The Mind

As an A level student, I am up early, I work for 6/7 hours straight, come home, rest for a bit, then get started on homework. My mind is in a consistent cycle, always thinking, right until I go to sleep. I probably even think in my sleep [if that's possible]. Dreams could just be our thoughts only more fantasized.

Anyway, my point is, my mind is in constant motion and as an a level student, my thoughts are always being challenged. I am developing a more extensive knowledge and understanding of the subjects I am studying and the world itself. I have come to terms with this and I find it interesting, yet I am somewhat comforted by the fact that at least I am learning something and developing my intelligence.

Yet, my mind never rests and it tires my entire self out. My mind is a detailed and complex thing that I will never understand. But now, my thoughts are complex too. And sometimes, it is hard-going, trying to make sense of what I'm thinking, this article, is a perfect example. I don't know if writing about the complexities of the mind, my mind, will help me any, but maybe, one of you will understand, if not, well I guess I can deal with it.

As a writer, I try to make sense of my thoughts by writing them, in a poem, in a story, or just in a blog entry, a diary entry, a script, some kind of something to do with writing I suppose. Although, at the best of times, this proves difficult. Each of the aforementioned documents contain structure and trying to structure thoughts as well as trying to make sense of them, ends up leaving me more confused than what I already was [although, that is not hard to do these days!].

I mean, I doubt that many of you, have even thought about how complex the mind is and/or can be. And I doubt that many of you have had very detailed and complex thoughts like mine, though I dont mean that in an arrogant, or I'm better than you, kind of way. It is not a hardship, but nor is it easy. It is, as mentioned, a complex thing.

I cannot seem to find a definition to describe, what these thoughts are like, or what they compare to, or find a simple definition just to try to make you understand. And I doubt this entry, will have any significance to any of you, but I just wanted to share this, to let you know, that it is not easy trying to write and nor is it easy having a complex mind.

I mean, all I have to do, is to listen to a song, or read a book, or a quote and the complexities are set in motion and as the cycle of thinking goes ever on, so does the cycle of life.

The Fine Fine Line Between What Is & What Isn't.

As a so-called writer, it is part of my job to decieve my audience. To tell a story that will intrigue them and evoke some kind of emotion in themselves. Or even, just to get them to think.

I myself, as a writer, aim to inspire people, although many a time, I don't go about this the right way. Although, who's to say what is the right way? I often decieve my audience in my stories, making them think something, and then it turns out to be something else, well, that is a twist in the plot, and it engages the audience with the text.

I have these 6 friends. 3 I spend a lot of time with. 3 I've barely met. Yet I feel it easier to talk to and spill my heart out to the 3 I've barely met. I feel like I am constantly decieving those whom I spend a lot of time with. I don't tell them everything, and we have this way of acting when around each other. And sometimes, it bugs me. Yet I dont say anything. I call it the "Reality" side of my life. The other side, well I call it "Virtuality".

Now, we all know that Virtuality and Reality are two different things. But are they really? I mean, the people in this virtual world [i.e. the internet] actually are real, I am as real as these words I am writing in this article. Yet, we seem to mistake this all for being virtual and maybe thats where our problems lie.

We find it easier to tell people online our problems because we dont actually fully determine them as "real" in our minds, yet they are almost as real as the sun does shine. I use the word almost, because on the internet, deceit is one of the most common techniques, we all know and hear about the stories of how a 75 year old paedo disguised himself as a 17 year old boy to get his way with girls [objectification of women much? haha].

So, if we use the term "virtuality" is that actually what it is? Because in this "virtuality" there are things that are real. So wouldn't it just become "reality" ? How do we actually determine, what is, and what isn't reality? And how and when do we decide to stop using deceit as a form of hiding what we really feel?