Many of you who know me, will know that my ex-boyfriend/first love ran off with my now ex-best friend. This was several years ago now, but the reason I'm bringing it up is because I think I am close to understanding how it must have felt. At the time, I was upset and hurt and in a lot of pain. Loosing two of the most significant people in your life at the same time as well as several others, well it's not a very nice thing to feel.
But recently it dawned on me, that I had feelings for a friend of a friend and how difficult it was for me to keep my feelings under control (most especially since I have a boyfriend). It's been said over time that you can never help how you feel and I suppose I can't help it, but I can keep myself at bay, so as not to hurt anyone (inevitable as it is).
For my ex, he must have felt guilty for having these feelings and at the same time, not regretting having them because it's how he felt, and she was something he wanted. I know you can't always have what you want, but you can try. And if you are in a dead-end relationship and you are after someone else, then it's unfair to lead the other person on, no matter how afraid you are of loosing that person, or hurting them.
As people, it is up to us to do the right thing. To be honest and be the best person we can be, although this proves difficult. As well as dealing with our own feelings, we have to consider other people's feelings and take them into account when making decisions that involve such persons. And we also must consider the consequences of our actions, if we are to see them through.
So although I had my heart broken, my friendships lost and my life torn to shreds in a simple matter of seconds, there were reasons behind the decisions made that I have only come to realise now. In a way, I should be thankful that the relationship ended when it did, it would have been unfair on me if I was lead on by my ex and if he was to continue to lie to himself about the feelings he had for my friend.
I know some of you are probably a bit confused about my thought process right now, but when you are put at the other end of the spectrum, when history repeats itself and you are put in a different position, you begin to see and learn things in a different light. You are aware of all the dangers, of all the risks, the hurt and the pain that can be caused, and you begin to understand reasons why it had to happen.
Although I will never fully comprehend the thought process of my ex and my friend at the time, this new understanding that has come to light has made some things make a little more sense. I guess what I'm really trying to say is be honest with yourself and then be honest with those around you. Lies only create more problematic situations when the truth is finally told and you wouldn't want that now would you?
But recently it dawned on me, that I had feelings for a friend of a friend and how difficult it was for me to keep my feelings under control (most especially since I have a boyfriend). It's been said over time that you can never help how you feel and I suppose I can't help it, but I can keep myself at bay, so as not to hurt anyone (inevitable as it is).
For my ex, he must have felt guilty for having these feelings and at the same time, not regretting having them because it's how he felt, and she was something he wanted. I know you can't always have what you want, but you can try. And if you are in a dead-end relationship and you are after someone else, then it's unfair to lead the other person on, no matter how afraid you are of loosing that person, or hurting them.
As people, it is up to us to do the right thing. To be honest and be the best person we can be, although this proves difficult. As well as dealing with our own feelings, we have to consider other people's feelings and take them into account when making decisions that involve such persons. And we also must consider the consequences of our actions, if we are to see them through.
So although I had my heart broken, my friendships lost and my life torn to shreds in a simple matter of seconds, there were reasons behind the decisions made that I have only come to realise now. In a way, I should be thankful that the relationship ended when it did, it would have been unfair on me if I was lead on by my ex and if he was to continue to lie to himself about the feelings he had for my friend.
I know some of you are probably a bit confused about my thought process right now, but when you are put at the other end of the spectrum, when history repeats itself and you are put in a different position, you begin to see and learn things in a different light. You are aware of all the dangers, of all the risks, the hurt and the pain that can be caused, and you begin to understand reasons why it had to happen.
Although I will never fully comprehend the thought process of my ex and my friend at the time, this new understanding that has come to light has made some things make a little more sense. I guess what I'm really trying to say is be honest with yourself and then be honest with those around you. Lies only create more problematic situations when the truth is finally told and you wouldn't want that now would you?
