Change & Suchlike.

Did you ever notice how we spend most of our lives searching for love? How most of us are always on the look-out for 'The One' or 'Mr Right' even though half the time, the people we meet now, probably won't make it through to our futures. Wherever we end up, be it London, Paris or New York, it's very unlikely that everyone you know now will know the future you as much as you would like them to.

And yet, no matter how tough life is, we always want love. We have love in forms of family and friends, but to most of us, it's never enough. We want someone to cuddle with and kiss and spend time with, someone who knows us inside out and backwards. Well today, I'm calling off the search. It was never one I intentionally started, but I was looking for a little something, a hug, maybe even a snog (any takers?). However, my search is off and the reason for this is change.

My post yesterday was an attempt to reach out to some people who know me well enough to see that I was hurting. And it worked, my friends came rushing to my side, telling me that I should talk to them more and hoping that I was okay. Thanks to them, I'm feeling a lot better, though there is still some disappointment and hurt, it doesn't just go away in the space of a day.

As for change, my life has taken a turn around in directions I thought it would never go, I almost hoped it would never go. Unfortunately, life doesn't work out that way and it will give you the unexpected at the most unfortunate times. So, my life is changing in major ways and I don't have the time or energy to spare on searching for something I will never find. I don't mean that as in I'll never find love, I just mean that as in when you look for something, you very rarely find it. So, the search is off, and the change is on. Whether you like it or not.

I have to admit, I'm afraid of change. I always have been, scared of something changing and never being the same again, cause generally it never is. People change and life goes on, whether we are happy about it or not. Sometimes change is for the best and if you're like me, well everything happens for a reason. So these changes are for a reason whether I know what that reason is or not is another thing. I may never know, but my life will go on and I may learn a million things, or I may learn nothing from these changes. Who knows! But I'm going to try and not be so afraid of change from now on. It's inevitable really, isn't it?

I don't know how often I will get to blog in the next few weeks due to all these changes taking place, but I'll try to keep you informed, that's if you're interested. Some comments would be nice people! :P. I really don't have much else to say, I hope you all are well and I'm going to leave you with this lyric, that relates to how I feel right now:

"You got to finally just stop searching to find yourself"